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5 SIMPLE QUESTIONS TO SILENCE THE BUTTON PUSHERS IN YOUR LIFE
Do You Want What's Best for the People You Love?
Of Course You Do! But Offering Support Can Be Exhausting...
Maybe you want to help your parents downsize, but attempts to declutter inevitably result in your mom giving you things you don’t want or need. You can’t refuse them without upsetting her, but you can’t accept them without feeling frustrated and resentful. How do you handle this?
Maybe you believe your daughter should wait until she’s found a new job before quitting the well-paying one she’s unhappy in. You want her to be happy — you just think it’s important that she be financially secure (especially in light of her debts!). When you try to give her advice, she says you don’t understand and shuts down. You want her to feel comfortable talking with you, but how can you withhold your advice when it could really benefit her?
Maybe you believe that caring for your father, who suffers from dementia, has become too difficult for your mother and, despite her protests, you think it’s time to move him to an assisted living facility. You want to respect her feelings, but you’re concerned about their safety and well-being. How hard do you push? And what if your siblings disagree with you?
Maybe visits with your grandchildren are difficult because they behave disruptively and disrespectfully. You listen to your son and daughter-in-law make threats, over and over again, that they never follow through on, and it’s obvious to you why the children aren’t listening to them. You adore the kids and want to see them grow into the happy, well-adjusted, successful adults they have the potential to be, so you feel tempted to offer parenting advice. At the same time, you know it may not be well-received. Do you really want to risk damaging your relationship with your son and daughter-in-law?
Maybe you dread visits with your parents because their house is always 95 degrees, and the TV is permanently set to their favorite news station (at full volume!). You love them and know they won’t be around forever, so spending time with them is important to you — you just wish you enjoyed your time together more. Isn’t enduring miserable visits better than staying away and feeling guilty about it?
These are complicated issues, and there are no right or wrong answers! Your friends may be quick to offer advice, based on their own experiences, but it’s not necessarily the best advice for you.
The Good News Is.... You Can Find a Solution YOU Feel Great About!
You can’t control what other people say and do, and there will always be circumstances you can’t change. But you DO have control over your own actions and reactions. And by shifting your approach, you have the power to change your relationships. There’s no need to settle for “the lesser of two evils” when figuring out how to handle complicated situations with the people you love. There are tools, strategies, and methods you can use to come up with solutions that feel right for you, and I can help you find them. Keep in mind that, as a coach, my job is NOT to give advice. A solution that works for me may not be the right one for anyone else!
My role is to partner with you, creating a judgement-free space where we’ll meet for nine 50-minute sessions (your choice of phone or video conference) over a 3-4 month period. Together, we’ll explore your priorities and values, then we’ll talk about how you’d like your relationships to look and at what’s currently getting in the way of that. We’ll define specific goals and consider options for approaches and actions you can take, and we’ll develop an action plan to help you achieve those goals.
You’ll receive all the support you need as you test your plan, discovering what’s working and what you need to tweak. You’ll walk away from our coaching program with newfound insight and tools that will not only serve you in your current situation, but that can bring you more joy in all areas of your life.
Imagine the Possibilities!
It’s natural to think that dealing with our families would be easier if they understood us better, if they appreciated us more, if the circumstances were different, or if we knew what the future held in store. What if you could feel great about the choices you’re making, knowing that you’ll stand behind them despite these challenges? When you feel better about what YOU’RE bringing to your relationships, setting and maintaining boundaries becomes easier, difficult situations feel manageable, and thoughts of the future bring excitement. Ultimately, everyone benefits.
Replace Overwhelm with Balance
Imagine that, rather than feeling like you have to either give in or suffer the consequences, you take a deep breath and realize there’s an option that allows you to take care of yourself, while still supporting the people you love.
Discover the Connection You Want
Imagine that, rather than the frustration of constantly being at odds with each other, you smile with the satisfaction of feeling like you’re on the same team.
Truly Enjoy Your Time Together
Imagine that, rather than bracing yourself for a stressful visit and preparing to bite your tongue, you realize you’re actually looking forward to spending time together, laughing, chatting, and enjoying each other’s company.
Why Work With Me?
Throughout my life, I’ve been passionate about helping people feel more connected to their family members, significant others, friends, and co-workers, and I’ve incorporated that passion into the various jobs, roles, and positions I’ve held. Several years ago, as I approached life as an empty nester and contemplated what the next chapter of my life would look like, I wondered whether I could make this “what I do,” rather than just a byproduct of something else.
I’ve had a lifetime of experience with relationships, and I’ve supported loved ones through major transitions in recent years. Through losing my dad to Alzheimer’s, helping my mom with a move that involved major downsizing, supporting my children as they’ve become independent young adults, and working with my husband to adjust to life in a two-person household, I’ve learned a tremendous amount about myself and about how important it is for me to feel good about what I’m bringing to these relationships.
I found myself noticing, while chatting with friends and acquaintances, that many other people were struggling with situations similar to mine. I felt good about being able to share my experiences, but I wanted to be able to offer more. Because talking with a coach helped me to sort through my feelings and figure things out, I knew the value of working with a professional.
I enrolled in a coach training program through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) where I received my certification as a Professional Coach and also as an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner. I now help people explore what’s missing in their relationships, figure out what they’d like to change, and partner with them to develop a plan to make that happen. I would be honored to work with you!
JENN GRUBER, CPC
"Jenn is skilled at opening the doors and peeling back the layers so that I could access the answers."
Dana A., Greenville, TN
“I would highly recommend working with Jenn. I have full responsibility for an aging parent, and it has become difficult to deal with. As an only child living far away, I felt a lot of guilt, stress and helplessness. Through my work with Jenn, I was able to come up with some ideas and strategies to help. To be able to know that I have it in my control and to have someone to help me through the challenges was really great. Awareness is the first key, and Jenn is skilled at opening the doors and peeling back the layers so that I could access the answers. I found working with Jenn to be incredibly rewarding.”
Ready to Get Started?
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re in a no-win situation, and you’re ready to try a new approach so that you can feel good about what you’re giving to the people you love, why wait? Complete the application below and you’ll receive a reply within 48 hours.